Bone pain, Below normal, Bald head

Just some thoughts as I look back on the 10 days since my fifth chemo treatment.

Saturday and Sunday following chemo the bone pain increased and the nausea returned. :( Now, let me say this - as long as I took advil or tylenol and used heating pads, the pain was manageable - so can't complain TOO much. :) By the following Tuesday, the pain was gone, as was the nausea. Two days, out of fourteen - I can live with that! I realize, as I have many times in the past 4 months, that I am truly blessed. Your prayers are working in my behalf - I don't understand why, but I am extrememly grateful!

This time around, even though I knew I was getting low, I didn't FEEL as low as I have in the past. I scheduled an appointment to go in and have my levels checked so that I could see how much higher I was. Surprise - I WASN'T higher, I was just as low as I have been. Maybe the fact that I have been sleeping better is what gives me more energy.? Anyway, I am, again, very grateful.

Third thing - I've decided that either I have a fat head, or an extremely slippery one! I cannot get silky scarves to stay on my head - no matter what I do. When I went to the doctor's on Friday - my scarf came off in the parking lot and I had to go back to the car and retie it! Thankfully, it did stay on through the visit and I made it home before it fell off again. Even the cloth ones seem to work their way up eventually and I find myself in need of pulling them back into place. So - what's your vote - fat or slippery? [or all of the above?] ;)

Another milestone

Well, I had my first treatment with the new chemo - Taxol. I didn't have an allergic reaction during the infusion - that was good. For the first time in many weeks I don't feel nauseous or have a head ache! I'm very anemic so my fatigue level is pretty high - I also sleep more, but since I wasn't sleeping that great before, I don't mind! The Taxol does give me bone pain - but I'm taking Claritin for my allergies [which, oddly enough, helps with bone pain] and I occasionally take advil or something, so it is manageable. All in all, I'm doing very well.

I was very nervous before I went for my treatment on Thursday. Not about getting the treatment but about NOT being able to get it. On Wednesday morning I woke up with the left side of my head plugged up - including sore throat and ear ache. It was worse Thursday morning and I was certain they would send me home with no chemo. Since I didn't have a fever the doctor was okay about going ahead. I was so relieved.

Taxol takes longer to infuse and they give me a large dose of Benadryl before so I'm there about 5 or 6 hours [counting doctor time]. I had a lovely visit with my neighbor, Penny and then with my daughter, Sarah - so the time was well spent!

Yesterday [Friday], Kent and I spent the day up at Aspen Grove, enjoying the smell of pine trees and fresh air. The beauties were amazing!

Since the trip

I have had a much better time, emotionally, on this round than on my 3rd. Your prayers have worked - so thank you!!!

We had a very sweet experience on Tuesday. Well, it was totally good for me, Kent's was mixed with nerves. Anyway, Kent was the devotional speaker on Tuesday and since I had been asked to sit on the stand with him, I arrived around 10:25 or so. There were a handful of people there - but no Kent or anyone that looked official enough to tell me what I should do. Happily, some of those "handful of people" were students from our Winter semester in Jerusalem. It was so good to see them and get caught up. They had some early to save a row or two for more JC students so they would all be sitting right in front! It was so much fun to greet each new bunch that came in, and then Kent's brother, Roger came too!
We did have to go sit on the stand earlier than we really wanted to so the greetings to more entering students were done with nods, smiles and small waves.
President Samuelson greeted us as we arrived at our seats. He called me by name and asked how I was feeling! He was so kind and gave me lots of encouragement.
Kent did a fabulous job (if I do say so myself!) and the audience seemed to respond well to it. As we were leaving the stage, we were able to see MORE friends: more students - even one from back in 1997; 2 of our "favorite" cousins; Walter and Mary Whipple - whom we met when we first arrived in Jerusalem; a friend from the 7th ward -- oh it was just so fun!!

Now, none of the above is a great deal of activity - but I was exhausted and had to rest when I got home.

Since then, I have been pretty much confined to home for my low days. I've done a puzzle, read 1+ books, and tried to do a few chores in between to keep myself busy. This is my last day of confinement, and I'm feeling pretty good. I've had some nice visits from friends - thank you for the books, soup, notes, web cam visit - that was a fun surprise!, encouragement and love. It all makes such a difference!

The trip

So - we left on Friday, June 24. I got Kent a GPS for Father's Day - so we broke that in! I felt sorry for the machine! We wanted to travel on roads we hadn't driven on before - that meant off-road. "American Jane" got very confused and had to keep "recalculating". Kent also had great fun changing the language of our GPS. I'd fall asleep to some Australian woman and wake up to Turkish or Arabic. It was great entertainment.

Our destination for Friday was Torrey, UT. We planned to have dinner at our favorite restaurant there, "El Diablo". Well. . . . . off-roading also means maps and GPS don't know when the dirt road ahead is washed out. Our poor car - we dinged up the front bumper and one of the side panels fell off due to really BIG wash outs! Anyway, Kent finally parked and WALKED ahead until he could see there was no getting through. That meant retracing our bumpy road for several hours and approaching Torrey from another direction. We arrived at our hotel at 10:00 pm. :)
I had to have something in my stomach before then so we stopped at some little sandwich place along the way and I got a delicious grilled cheese sandwich and some chocolate milk. My tummy was happy! You could tell this place got a lot of business, because there were 2 teenagers working and one of them was being trained. The sandwich was worth the wait!!

Saturday - Original plan - get up fairly early and drive to Bull Frog and take the ferry across Lake Powell.
Actuality - we both slept in until about 9:00 - got to the "complimentary" breakfast by the skin of our teeth, and went to Hite and overlooked Lake Powell. :)
We spent the day in Natural Bridges. I read and slept, Kent hiked around taking pictures of more wildflowers. I was hoping that going on this trip would make me feel better physically. I'm not sure WHY I thought that - it didn't happen. But, if I'm going to be tired, head-achy, and nauseous I might as well be somewhere beautiful that isn't home! Actually, I have to amend this a bit. Thanks to a discovery by my friend Tina, I DID have less nausea - thank you Tina!! For anyone else who suffers from chronic nausea, for whatever reason, let me share.
Tina's daughter is expecting and is VERY sick. So the two of them went to Good Earth to see what they might find that would help her. They were introduced to Ginger products. Tina made a little care package of them for me to try - and they work! The package included some Ginger tea, ginger hard candy, and Ginger Chews. The chews were my favorite. They were very strong, so a little bite lasted for a few hours. The whole piece of candy lasted me an entire day - sometimes more. Unfortunately, I have used up my package, so Tuesday I'm hitting Good Earth for some refills!
We spent the night in Monticello.

Sunday we went to Sacrament meeting in Monticello - all 3 talks were very good! Then we drove home. We arrived home about 4:30 or so. It was nice to be home but I'm glad we got away for a few days! Kent took hundreds of pictures of wildflowers - here are my favorites:

Milestone!

I'M HALF-WAY THROUGH, LEAVING FOR A WEEKEND GET-AWAY WITH MY SWEETIE, AND FEELING GOOD!!!!!!!!

More when we return.

A request from me to you

My dear friends,

I've had an insight [sometimes I'm a little slow on these things] - I know that all of you are praying for me and for Kent but I'd like to ask you to focus your prayers a bit in my behalf. If you've read my "highs and lows" blog you know I'm struggling emotionally/spiritually. Would you please ask the Lord to help me fight harder against the lows and be able to lift myself above the discouragement and fatigue? Your prayers have done wonderful things for me thus far - so I have great faith that they can help me with this new struggle.

How thankful I am for all of you and for my knowledge of a loving Heavenly Father who hears and answers prayers!!

love to you all!

Highs & Lows -- some observations -- this was started on the 16th but finished on the 20th

Well, I'm now past another set of lows, working my way back up to have my 4th round of chemo on Thursday. This has been the most difficult, emotionally, so far. No matter how sweet Kent tried to cheer me up - I felt tired, sad, and . . . . tired. Uncharacteristically, Sunday was actually the best of the low days! Anyway - here are some of the thoughts I've had during the past week.

I know you've all discovered this same thing at some trial in your life -- you appreciate things more when suddenly they are limited or denied to you! Here are some of mine:

exercising with my friends every morning
hugs
food that tastes normal
snuggling with grandchildren
going on a last-minute getaway with Kent
salad bars
"simple" chores [no chore is simple anymore]
a warm head
control -- this week in particular I have been on the verge of tears most of the time. Any conversation brought tears to the surface and simple frustrations became a HUGE deal - poor Kent got worried, I'm sure. Thankfully, I was able to NOT break down in a fit of crying - just a fit ;(. Kent would REALLY have been worried, then!

Now, so that you won't be scared off, or think I've TOTALLY lost it - there are also some happy outcomes that I've found in this trial:

doing a "simple" chore brings a greater sense of accomplishment now
exercising doesn't take as long
I'm saving tons of money on shampoo
I only have to shave my legs maybe once a week
wearing scarves is kind of fun!
I'd forgotten how much I love doing puzzles
Studying the scriptures and/or listening to beautiful music DOES bring me peace - the challenge is in fighting against the fatigue and sadness enough to do those things!