Well, I'm now past another set of lows, working my way back up to have my 4th round of chemo on Thursday. This has been the most difficult, emotionally, so far. No matter how sweet Kent tried to cheer me up - I felt tired, sad, and . . . . tired. Uncharacteristically, Sunday was actually the best of the low days! Anyway - here are some of the thoughts I've had during the past week.
I know you've all discovered this same thing at some trial in your life -- you appreciate things more when suddenly they are limited or denied to you! Here are some of mine:
exercising with my friends every morning
hugs
food that tastes normal
snuggling with grandchildren
going on a last-minute getaway with Kent
salad bars
"simple" chores [no chore is simple anymore]
a warm head
control -- this week in particular I have been on the verge of tears most of the time. Any conversation brought tears to the surface and simple frustrations became a HUGE deal - poor Kent got worried, I'm sure. Thankfully, I was able to NOT break down in a fit of crying - just a fit ;(. Kent would REALLY have been worried, then!
Now, so that you won't be scared off, or think I've TOTALLY lost it - there are also some happy outcomes that I've found in this trial:
doing a "simple" chore brings a greater sense of accomplishment now
exercising doesn't take as long
I'm saving tons of money on shampoo
I only have to shave my legs maybe once a week
wearing scarves is kind of fun!
I'd forgotten how much I love doing puzzles
Studying the scriptures and/or listening to beautiful music DOES bring me peace - the challenge is in fighting against the fatigue and sadness enough to do those things!
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