How Are You?

I get asked that question a lot. And I know that those asking are sincere. They really do want to know how I'm doing and are hoping that the answer will be positive! I, however, am not always completely honest in my answer. Physically I am doing amazingly well. Minor headaches, nausea, bone aches, fatigue - nothing that isn't manageable. Emotionally, however, I'm having a harder time -- not ALL of the time -- but sometimes. I wonder if this will be my life for the rest of it - however long that is. I wonder if I am being so blessed now because something much worse is coming. I wonder if I'm strong enough to stay busy, motivated, and optimistic, in spite of the fatigue and the fear.

This latest down swing was brought on the loss of my hair. After we finished shaving my head and I saw myself without hair, it didn't bother me as much as I had anticipated. However, going to church the next day was very difficult. I have some lovely scarves, thank you Jenni for your donation, and I have cute hats. But, cute or not - I'm bald because I have cancer. Nothing changes that and there is no hiding it.

I'm not even sure what to say beyond this - thanks for listening?

Despite my uncertainty of going to church - I did put on a scarf and away I went. Here is my first attempt at scarf-wearing.