RADIATION DAYS LEFT: 5!

This is an example of "Treat Wednesday". Always yummy stuff.

When I bring my camera, and leave it with the therapists - they take their own pics. Sometimes of themselves, but today of what THEY see when they do my radiation. Here are the pics:

This is me!

RADIATION DAYS LEFT: 6!

This is where I go every day, Monday - Friday.

Saturday Cancer Walk

Three of my daughters and I did the "Making Strides for Breast Cancer" walk on Saturday! We did all 5 miles in about an hour - woo hoo!!!!

The walk was held at Liberty Park in Salt Lake. First we checked in and we each wore a sticker "In Honor of . . . . ." This is what my 3 girls put on theirs. :)


"Lifting Hearts" is the name of my support group and they made these shirts for us to wear.
After we checked in we wandered around a bit and I got this free hat and medal because I'm a survivor. :)

This is us before we walked:

This is along the way!

Since we finished much sooner than we had anticipated, we all went breakfast together. Yum!!
Thanks for the wonderful morning, girls - I love you all. You are awesome!!

What do you think?

Ignore the failed attempt at a poll, top left. I'm not very good at this stuff. Anyway, I'm taking a poll to see what people think my hair will look like when it comes back in:

Color:

Curly or Straight:

Thick or Thin:

Reflecting back and looking forward

These are some of the sweet people who take such good care of me during radiation:

Brooke & Brooke

Melanie, Gary, and Lindsey? I honestly can't remember her name :(

In addition to these angels, another blessing came yesterday. Remember how cold it was here?? [38 degrees when I went to radiation]. Well, I was cold, to say the least. In the waiting room they have a warming oven full of nice heated blankets! Heaven!!!!!!!

As for today - I have so many different emotions swirling around inside me right now. I'm so happy to be nearing the end of my cancer treatments (only 8 radiation to go!) yet I feel a bit "lost" without a cancer schedule to follow. I know that sounds weird. But I have spent the past 7 months thinking about, fighting against, and sharing my feelings about cancer. Now, thankfully, it is time to move on. On one hand I am thankful to be going back to Jerusalem -- It will fill my time, my mind, and my soul. It represents a victory in my fight. On the other hand -- It scares me - for I won't be here with all of you. I will continue to blog and I hope you will follow along and once in a while comment so that I know you're there!!

This will probably sound weird to most of you as well - but when I think back on what I've dealt with since March I feel sadder and more anxious than I did when I actually went through it. When Kent and I met with Dr. Rich earlier this week, I was not excited about seeing him. I felt solemn as I walked into that chemo room. Yet, my mind knew that we were there to talk about going back to Jerusalem - about getting on with life! That I wasn't there for chemo. Is this making any sense at all??
And going the other direction, most of the time when I think of the future I am happy, excited, and optimistic. Yet sometimes the fear of the unknown creeps in. I even worry that I have been BLESSED so much that there must be something really bad coming. :)
But, we could all do the same, couldn't we? None of us knows what our future holds - which is a good thing. We must just go forward, sometimes partway into the dark, and trust that God is there to guide us even when we can't see. I DO know that to be true - for it has happened many, many times in my life. But, it doesn't stop me from getting scared sometimes!

Thank you, Jan, for your words of wisdom and experience - it helps a lot! Thank all of you for reading along and loving me anyway!

Guess What?

Kent and I are returning to Jerusalem beginning Winter semester! Actually, we will probably leave right after Christmas so that we can have some time to regroup before the students arrive.
Most of you know that they asked us to go back soon after we returned home in April. But it was completely based on my health and well-being. That came first. Kent and I decided that we wouldn't even discuss it until my treatments were finished - which will be at the end of October. We wanted to focus on fighting the cancer and anything else seemed irrelevant.
As time has gone on, and I've been SO blessed throughout the treatments, we - especially me - began to think more seriously about going back. Are there lots of reasons why I don't want to go back? Oh, yes! In my "logical mind" I can easily see why we shouldn't go back. However, somewhere in Proverbs it says "lean not unto thine own understanding." But, "in all things acknowledge God and He will direct your paths for good." Or something similar to that.
Well, there are things that have taken place in the last few months that I have tried to ignore, but can no longer do so. Here are a few of them:

1. When the new faculty arrived in Jerusalem in August, one of them posted a picture of their family on their JC apartment balcony. When I saw that picture I had a surprising reaction. I felt an ache in my heart - like WE should be there too!
2. Remember my conversation with Dr. Rich about a month ago? I mentioned that I felt "lighter and more optimistic" than I had in a long time. Well, what I didn't mention was the real reason for that lightness. :) Dr. Rich didn't just tell me to get on with my life but to go back to Jerusalem. He thinks it will be the best way for me to heal. When he told me that I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
3. When we first returned home, Jim Kearl told us that since we didn't know how things would go with my cancer, they would need to replace us at the Jerusalem Center. But, they haven't been able to. So far, they have only found people who could go for 1 semester at a time.
4. There are other things as well, but the bottom line is, the answer to our prayers about going back has been "yes, go back."


We have been SO blessed throughout this cancer adventure that we owe the Lord big time! We know that this is what He wants us to do at this point.

Heads wins

I have microscopic baby fuzz on my head! :)